Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Some things just stink

Today I got an email from my mom. Dad's cancer is growing and starting to spread more. This just stinks. So many emotions are going through my head right now, I feel all jumbled up. A part of me wants to scream and cry, another keeps giving it back to God.

They will be trying a new chemo but that one is only about 30% effective for this cancer and yet it is the best option left.

I have no fear for dad of where he will be going, I know he knows the Lord and will be going to see Jesus. That is what the goal in life is to me, it is the end and then forever begins! But yet it hurts so much here on earth to know he will be leaving us much sooner than I am ready to let him go. I just want to keep him here for ever.

Mom seems to be holding out well but I know this is eating away at her. I hardly want to let my mother in law know what is going on too as she is having such a hard time seeing this all happen, she loves my parents so.

Tears are coming easily today. I know this is normal. I fear I am not much good for getting anything done today. Mental-pause is not helping any either. Been way too emotional with that, ugh.

We buried out old cat Zack on Sunday, he died on Friday. he was almost 20. Badges the older cat seems to be doing fairly well. She is nearing 24 years.

Supper tonight is going to be enchladas with rice and beans. It is all going to be made from scratch including the tortillas.

Guess that is all the news for now. Kimi

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